I don’t want to say I don’t follow my New Year’s Resolutions because I do…some just don’t last through the whole year lol. Like for 2014 you say you’re hitting the gym hard, well I’m not sure about you, but I know I did. I went steady for about 3 months straight. By spring break I was impressed and happy with my results. Then I started a new job, and had to balance that with school so the gym took a backseat for pretty much the rest of 2014 unfortunately. So now let’s just say the gym is back on the list for 2015…
…But it’s back on the list in a new way. I don’t bash the saying “New Year, New Me,” because it kind of makes sense in my mind. If you say New Year New Me and your still on that old BS then ok you’re corny for that shutup. But if you’re really going to apply it to your life and be about what you say (which I feel we all should live by) then be a new bigger better “badder” you. A Badder you in a good way though. When I say the gym is back on the list in a new way this is what I mean:
I don’t want to put the gym back on the list and then stop, only abiding by the resolution for 3 months. I’m proud that I was even as consistent as I was, going almost every day for 3 months. So the new goal is to now go further than 3 consecutive months in the gym. I want it to become more of a part of my life; being a daily, weekly, monthly thing. At times I can be really health conscious, I just wanna live a long healthy life. I learned that balancing my job and school was hard so throwing the gym in there made it even more difficult and complicated. So now I’m adding on to the gym resolution; In 2015 I want to not only want to be in the gym, but I want to be able to learn to balance my job and school so that I can be able to be in the gym how I would like to be. I learned in 2014 that I am in control of my life and that includes how my daily routines and schedule should go. I have to live in my skin so I need it to be just right for me. With my school schedule being fit for me that helped me figure out how my work one should be. Right now the position I’m in is that school has to come first (how it should always be for me), plus my mama pays for it so hell yes it has to come first. Having a job is a blessing and makes it easier for my life and my lovely mothers’ pockets but at the same time I don’t HAVE to work, I can manage without a job in college. I’ve done it before, my mom doesn’t pay all the money she does for me to not be somewhat set at school. So when my job STRESSES me about working more and doing this and doing that, I now tell them chillllll. While working is a privilege, I’m going to work what I’m able to work. Which leads me to my next resolution….
In 2015 I’m not going to let my job crush me and stress me. For 2014 I just wanted to get a job period! In 2013 I went from feeling on top of the world starting on the career path I wanted to, to spending the whole summer failing at finding a way to just make 8.00$ an hour. So mission PARTIALLY accomplished. Time for part two. I don’t want to say where I work now, but I will say I work an average job (compared to my old place of work , and I wasn’t doing anything raunchy or uncouth so get that notion out of your minds !) But sometimes I feel like my bosses and managers want my job to be more than my job. They want it to be my life! And I‘m sorry I cannot have that. First off I’m not into working an average job all my life. That’s just not for me. If I ever land myself a typical 9-5 gig because I can’t accomplish MY PERSONAL dreams and goals, it’s gonna go accompanied by a heel stabbed in my eye. I’m not being over-dramatic either. And that’s not to say that working 9-5’s are bad. The people who do are HEROS. I commend people who do that because when I do it I’m just a mess lol I’m so sloppy in my work ethic. I can’t do it correctly because it’s just not for me. I try my hardest not to be mediocre at my job, I want to go as hard as I can everyday but at the end of the day my heart just isn’t in it. I see myself as more of a creative soul, and that isn’t the correct outlet for me to express that. So when I’m getting stressed about things I can sometimes care less about it stresses me out to the fullest. In 2014 I can say though that I found a way around my stresses and frustrations with my job. This is going to be the longest I’ve gone working at one job for a specific company. I mostly only had temp jobs or summer gigs. I’ve worked for this company in two different states and 3 different cities. At first it was cool but then it became a burden for me which your job should NEVER be. You should NEVER EVER wake up in the morning dreading the fact that you have to go spend 8-10 hours in a place that really hurts your soul. You should never spend those 8-10 hours every day contemplating if this is the day you’re putting in 2 weeks; if this is the day that you’re just going to walk out and never look back. You should never leave your job thinking “damn I have to go back tomorrow.” That was me, and that REALLY messes up your work performance and it kills your karma, energy, and darkens your aura and character. I went from being happy at my job in one state, to moving to another in a different city and thinking how the hell am I going to get out of this situation. Most people would have just quit when they realized that it really wasn’t for them. I’m the type of person where I don’t quit anything. I don’t quit at goals, I don’t quit with school, I don’t quit with people (even when they don’t want my ass lmao) I just never give up. That’s just so not me, if anything quitting makes me feel worse than being in the predicament that was originally making me feel bad. I feel in a way I failed myself, I let me down. That’s not to say that if something is really defeating me I won’t let it go, but I try to work around it and work it out before I call it quits. When I realized that in two different cities the job was still crushing me, before I called it quits (or before they fired me ) I wanted to try another alternative, like I said I don’t quit unless I HAVE to. Making the move I did to ANOTHER city and in a different branch of the company, made me realize that I think I found my home (for the time being). I think I found the better work place for me, a place where I’m not as stressed, I don’t feel like everyone is out to get me, and most importantly a place that I walk in to and go “today is the day I quit.” So for 2015 (God willing) I can keep my new job, or at least stay within the branch that makes me happy. Just until I find the real path the universe wants me to take for my career. And of course still not get fired lol.
For a school resolution…..in 2015 I just wanna graduate. Point. Blank. Period. Damnit.
ANDDDDD it’s about to be a year that I started the NoChillZone blog, yayyyy! In 2014, I realized I sucked at blogging lmao! In the sense of, I didn’t realize how much work it actually is it have a blog. I have so much going on in my head, so much I think about daily, so much I have to say and want to talk about! And I love EVERYONE who has supported me by reading, hating me for what I’ve written, encouraging me to keep going, tell me I was whack, and told me they related to me and I’ve helped them so how. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I thought it would be easy to sit down and write it all out and post it. But nope. It’s actually a lot of work. But I like it, and in 2015 I need to learn how to not only schedule time for school, work, and the gym, but to also perfect my craft take this more seriously and push myself to be more consistent. Constancy is the key and theme for not only 2015 but for life in general. Having loyalty to myself and my life.
And of course I have a bunch of other personal goals. Of course I want there to be a new version of myself taking flight and soaring highly in 2015. But I don’t want it be a year of wasted goals. I’m seeing 2015 as a year of building and as a year and as a year of action. I’m not making this list of bullet points but so that I can accomplish them in 2015 then make a new list for the next year. I’m doing all this because I want this to be the year I start to take real action to really change my life. And who said we have to start these things at the beginning of the year? Ya we feel fresh and recharged, but we can make life changes any day of the week, month, year, as long as were ready for the change and can handle it. My permanent New Year’s Resolution for the rest of my life, is to one up myself ever year. Really become a bigger- better-BADDER me, then I’ve EVER been! I wanna GloUpOutwardly and internally. Because when I say I say wanna GloUp, idk about you, but I get a warm feeling in the center of my chest. I wanna shoot up, and start doing things people don’t want to see me accomplish. I want to prove to myself that I’m really worth what I say I am, and about what I say I am about. I wanna put actions behind my words because talk can be cheap especially if you’re not living by your words. I also want to see the people around me that I love (friends, family, colleagues, my academic peers) GloUp also. I thrive off of success, not just my own but other people’s also. Sometimes I say that my strength is that I want to see everybody make it, and my downfall is that I want to see everybody make it. Because I really want to see, and if I can, help everybody make it out of whatever’s holding them back. Mentally, physically, any shackles they want to break I want to help them. Because I’m always ready to break my shackles and fly. And I’ve been praying every night that 2015 is my year, my loves years, and everyone else’s way to break their shackles and fly up out of whatever’s holding them back to really go for what they want.
And if I can’t accomplish taking my butt to the gym at least once a week…I’ll take a seat next to the “New Year, New Me” BSers, permanently.
First things first, I need to refer back to the first blog I ever wrote on NoChillZone, and open my blessings jar for 2014. Count the all the blessings I’ve received, and make room for more!
With the Greatest Love and Admiration,